Innernaut Report 24

Photo by Martin Sanchez

When you are experiencing the greatest darkness, you also have the greatest awakenings. In order to have the greatest awakening, you also have the greatest darkness. These polarities work hand in hand.

I have also noticed, whenever you are on the verge of waking up, or breaking through something, you must burst through a certain tension. Usually, you know what this is like. I say, it is like breaking through sound, like a supersonic jet, breaking the sound barrier.

But, it also is a perceptible tension, whereas it requires punching through or storming through a barrier, which in turn, facilitates knowledge and understanding. When you break through the consciousness, you have to break through some sort of tension.

But everyone seems to want equanimity. One way is, as you get up in the morning, you lift your finger, you stick it up in the air, and you find out which way the wind is blowing, and those are the ones that you cater to. That is a crooked equanimity. The other is an innocent equanimity. When you get up in the morning, you lift your finger, you hold it up in the air and you figure out who does the sweetest lilt job. Those are the good guys.

Then you find out that it works the opposite way. That is not how you accomplish anything. You have to break through all of that in order to recognize something more.

So then comes the question. If you could, would you do that, where you bust something more. For those who have the capability of hearing and want to stay asleep, stay asleep, and those that want to wake up, can wake up, and do wake up. And I thought, WOW, it actually does work that way.

You have to storm the gates, so to speak. You have to break through the sound barrier, as if it is an airplane, so to speak. You have to cause a lot of tension, if that's the situation that's required, in order to break an amnesia. The question then comes up: Is what you're doing, does this cause any damage?

The answer is yes. Both happen simultaneously. You can't have a consciousness come into the world without the Kali Yuga or destruction on the opposite getting intensified too. When something gets really thin, or really narrow, or just a thin line between breaking through to a consciousness, the loudness of the Kali Yuga, the darkness, the stuff that has you askew and astray is extreme at that point in time too. It's denser and so even though it seems that the closeness is at hand, the loudness of the denseness is also there. And so, they offset each other and you have to break through that. And that's not a healthy thing.

This is why it is said, that when a student comes to a teacher, the teacher will advise on what you are apt to have to go through, in order to wake up and be willing to do that. If they aren't willing, then obviously they are not ready. They still have to suffer some more in the purgatory before they come to realize that there is something, something so much more. But the answer to the question: Is there collateral damage? Is there an effect? There appear to be unintended consequences, that you can classify as destructive or bad, that are involved in the awakening process.

Jesus, when he was here, was aware of this and he said that he came here to pit father against son. Basically, he knew that you have to break the trance of the collective consciousness. And so, the answer to the question is, yes, it is both. You create a damage effect. A person who is not that awake will suffer collateral damage.

When you do something that jars you, jars the very fiber of your own being, the damage will cause you to be deviated from the heart. It will cause veils to exist, and the psyche to be askew. However, that can be healed. When you break through to newfound clarity, that's forever. So, one is temporary and the other is more permanent. And that's the difference.

And so, they have this entirely wrong when the Sufis practice this Adab, or manner, of not disturbing anything. Christ disturbed stuff. He upset the moneychangers. He disturbed things. He put a family against family and stuff like that. And this same thing came up with Krishna. Krishna was the charioteer for Arjuna, the champion in the land. On the other side were relatives. Arjuna was told by Krishna, just go ahead and kill them. They're already dead.

Photo by The Cleveland Museum of Art

So, you're breaking through things, you're not sitting there trying to find some sort of equanimity, some sort of mealy-mouthed approach.

My dreams last night dealt with, number one, coming to realize that you do damage, but one can be healed, and the other, where you develop defense mechanisms or reactions that cause you to go a bit dense. But you break out of that density because you can overcome that. You can heal that. You can vibrate through it, and how it is that you can vibe from the heart goes out and heals in the ethers. And then what you have assailed is permanent. It goes on and on.

I continued into the schematic with my meditation dream. I didn't seem to be able to get into the meditation for the longest time because all of this was animated inside of me. I was amazed at the depth I went when I was able to get into it, because I had already shaken an acuity. So, I went right into the depth. And then I was rather amazed, at what I call hypnagogic images, which are not really complete dreams. But I've come to take those down and they're deeper now.

They have been right on the threshold, of just before you wake up, kind of awake and kind of asleep, but you still have those glimpses. Now, there is a kind of sleep, a trance kind of sleep, and you get hit with those. I've long learned that you put those together, write them down, and they all seem to have what you need to know.

When you write one down, you might not be quite able to see it. When you write two down, you go, "Oh yeah, I get it." When you write three down, it's like, wow! Four down... they're all the same in terms of the underlying energetic thread, that points out something so much more.

In going through the meditation, I think I can read it.

Supporting nature is the projection of oneness that sweeps through manifestation.

I noticed that the naturalness and permeation unfold hand in hand. However, when it comes to a human, a mind-set orientation gets in the way. The permeation that causes it to be veiled, the permeation and the part of the world intertwining in a oneness, seems to be overwhelmed. When human imposes the personal mind-sense orientation, it overwhelms it.

Opposing the permeation means stabbing the heart. When you're overwhelmed by the collective consciousness and the loudness, you fall back instead of have a break-through.

In the meditation, an intertwinement that takes-in everything inclusively, is unable to flow. I just want to be me, and "me" is the inextricable, intertwined essence. However, in the meditation, I notice I'm adhering to a deviated unfoldment. I'm seeing other parts of myself just stuck in a deviated way, clinging to the manifestation, to incompleteness, as if that's an acceptable reality.

In the sleep dream, to begin with, I go into a college cafeteria. It's like I've whiled away the time that's necessary to get in there. It closes abruptly at nine o'clock for breakfast. It's about ten to nine when I go in. There are no trays and I have to get a dirty tray or a plate from the table. The person washing this plate for me says: If you stretch your legs by pulling them to your chest, do you damage your body? That's a question in terms of trying to understand what they're studying.

I do not really know why I am being told this in the first place. All I am interested in is getting breakfast before it is too late and all the food is gone.

The beauty of something stupid like this little dream is, it has a deep meaning. When a person gets intense over a scenario and reacts in an extreme, just after damage to the psyche and body. The psyche is one thing and of course, the body can come down to illnesses on this denseness. So, it's like a "duh", for most people who go through life getting worked up about it, those who relate to life in a direct and forceful way. Does this hurt them or does it wake them up to something more? That is the question.

The answer is, I believe it does both, it damages and awakens at the same time. It appears you can't have one without the other. I've often wondered why it was, when I went through this strange stuff that I would go through in the daytime, why it was I could keep dreaming my concept of things, for the longest time. And when you needed to maintain a certain quality of your own nature and being, you are kind of told this when you go to these various schools, you're told to try to have a certain Adab, where you treat others in a certain way. In other words, you facilitate their sleepiness apparently. To some degree, I believe that. So then, you don't rock the boat too hard. But now I'm realizing that's not true. Obviously, it appeared to me that it didn't make any difference if I went through something real intense in the daytime. It seemed, if anything, to help facilitate the dream. I was beginning to think that I had to have this intensity in order to dream, the opposite of all being copacetic. And so, I went like that for a period of time.

Neither of those are true. It's a question of what you can break through. I believe that there's both the damage and awakening at the same time. It appears you can't have one without the other. However, as to the damage, it can be healed. As for the awakening, that is forever. There is nothing more that you further need to do. You know, in terms of your awakening. As far as the other, you know, it gets healed. This is the process.

The next image is a very strange hypnagogic image, and I started off by saying" it's just not fair."

In this image pigs are rounded up for slaughter and herded into an area. The shooter drops them right where they can be picked up for butchering. No one else is that good a shot.

Don't do it anymore. Go ahead and give us a talk on the history of investing. It turns out he's a professor. He has multiple skills and says "round up your questions" as he shifts his duties, to this awareness, to his calling, to what he's all about in this arena.

Now that comes to be more and they all mean the same thing. Listen closely, they all are doing the same thing. See, this one had to do with a breakthrough to so much more.

Another scenario was, in which a person is rounding up what is needed to complete the perspective in full round. Advisers are needed, so rounding up those who can advise... like waking up and rounding up when it's necessary to wake up. I'm told that they want to give him a chance.

I say he is straightforward when he isn't goofing around, as if I goof around. All have a meaning. The three images all have to do with the quality of excellence that's coming alive in the world. There has been a long while when things were clear and focused. When confusing and out of alignment, the outer was disappointing. Now there is no excitement, as everyone prospers, based upon a newfound awakening.

It's the tingling of this that caused the hypnagogic images, the loudness of the polarity that caused the sleep dream to have to come to the task.

Now, my partner did this herself too, without having to go through any of these events in the outer. Inside of herself she keeps coming up to a point and falling back, as if there's something more, but not quite turning in. Then she gets to the point inside of herself, where she could tell you what it is not. If you brought up something she could say no, that isn't it. Then it gets to the point where it's down to three things, and then it gets to the point where she's zooming-in on what is actually real, that tingles and does something that just sweeps through. Of course, as she was approaching it before, she was trying to use the body to make that determination, because she knew that she had to sort it in relationship to, not the mind-senses. When she finished the mind-senses, I said, you never do complete it. You complete it enough so that it's known.

Photo by Ahmad Odeh

So now, that part then becomes an awakening and it's forever. You've broken through, and now the complexities continue. You'll go off into whatever else needs to be, in terms of the permeation, which is the real underlying schematic of things. There is nothing visible. There's no time or space. That's such a deep subject because, standing in the way, is the denseness of the mind-senses, that go in an overallness way to manifestation, not in a permeating way, which means millions of pieces that come with it.

And you're caught up in having to contend with that and never break through. You stay in an amnesiac way.

So that was kind of what took place just last night. All of this stuff kind of kicks back a little, to bits and pieces of prior dreams. And so, it is added to, as one goes about waking up and recognizing so much more.

I believe all of it is intentioned to get to a certain kind of heartfelt thread. It's all intentioned to be that way. It could be extremely deviated.

And it's like, I even think that Elon Musk has an interesting, heartfelt thread standpoint, that he has a sense of what the future holds. But that thread is separate from his normal day-to-day, because you certainly don't want to talk to him, and ask him about, this, that, and the other, because he's an idiot when it comes to the affairs of life. I also used to believe that Trump basically, in his nature, had something too, but whatever it is, I don't know that we ever got the chance to see it since he could not get beyond his own "me, myself and I".

You can have access to a particular chamber of the heart, to give you a particular perspective, that takes you outside the density of things, and then, you're unrelatable to those that are still stuck at the other chamber. They then become, a collective consciousness holding you back, or attempting to hold you back. But once you permanently shift into a particular chamber of the heart, there's no going back. That is why it is said in Sufism, that when a teacher takes on a student, they never know whether the student is going to break through, until the very end, because they can always fall back, at any given point in time, because as you get closer to something so much more, the loudness in the outer increases. You react more readily to things in the outer, than maybe a fairly numb person is inclined to do.

The underlying thread is, there is something that permeates through life. If you try to describe it in relationship to manifestation, it's a quality of the heart in a human. And that heart is as big as the world. You have a heart in every single cell of your body and through it, catching up with this, you catch up with it, outside of time and space, and it permeates. So permeation, when you catch up with it, inside of time and space, is heartfulness. You have a revelation, where you have glimpses of things that are very touching. We have all of this sitting here. You can sense that it's all there. It almost looks like if you blink twice, it will be Ok. Only once, and it stays crazy. It seems that close at hand, in terms of being something that can possibly change.

But I don't know, things looked like they could change after 9/11, then we went into a war on terror.

During the course of the week, I caught up with recognizing why the Boddhisatva is so important in Buddhism. The Boddhisatva is a recognition basically, that we're all one and the same, we're all one. This is reduced by its depiction that the Boddhisatva does not take care of himself. If anything, the statement is that, he's like last, which means there's no such thing as a first. There's no such thing as the last. It all gets it and all goes at the same time, which means that, when you have a part of yourself that is completely haywire, you have other parts of yourself that get it.

During the course of this week, I went through one night after another, where I would come up to a threshold. One night it was in the collective consciousness. I had a sense that there was a fire coming. I was using that as an imagery for the dream. No one else sensed the fire. I just knew it was coming. So, they in their malaise of things, cannot be convinced. Then the smoke comes. They are still in denial when the wind shifts and you can't see in front of you. It's all smoke and you can barely breathe for your children to stay alive. I knew enough to leave, but I didn't because you're trying to bring all parts of yourself through the process.

Fortunately, the wind changed and it cleared up. One could breathe again. This time they would comply, they would go along. So, we went to the edge of the territory of what exists on this, one side of things. The other was still within a given chamber of the heart. Then, to actually get outside of all of this, you had to go through a fence, through the hedge, and you're in a different chamber of things. I did my best to convince them that they needed to do this, and I couldn't talk them into it. So, I laid down next to the fence and went to sleep. In my sleep, I went into the dream of the veil of this level. As I'm waking up, spikes hit right next to me. I realized, OK, this area is gobbled up, I have to get to the other chamber. Yet at the same time, I know that it's temporary because the other parts of myself have been left behind and you can't do it that way.