Parallel Dreaming
Shared Dream Experience
Dear Reader,
You may remember that we talked about Parallel Dreaming in a one of our previous posts, in the context of the shared dream experience between the Innernaut and Soror Mystica. In their case they have been dream partners for many years, they share their waking life together and they often times “dream in complete parallel”. I remember reading about the episode of their shared dream, when the Innernaut got a list of questions that he read to himself and the following morning Soror Mystica, who did not know what the questions were, dreamt answers to those questions and shared them the following morning. What???
I have been involved with this project for about four years and during that time I have had periods of focused dream practice and long periods of not remembering a single scene from a dream. Last February we ran a Dream Challenge on this Substack, to challenge ourselves and our dream community to create an intentional dream practice during that month. What’s the big deal, just go to sleep and write down what you remember in the morning, right? It was a little more complicated that that.
As I wrote about it then, remembering my dreams was a real challenge. There would be many days that I had nothing to report, even after all of the thoughtful preparation and intention setting. I would sweat writing a post on not remembering my dreams because it felt like I was missing something.
During that time of elevated anxiety and expectation that every morning I would have a profound experience to report on, something else was going on next to me. My husband of twenty five years, who was aware that I was doing an online dream challenge was excited to witness this process but was not interested in participating. I need to mention here that he hardly ever remembers his dreams although he is always very open and interested in hearing my dream stories.
In the weeks prior to starting the challenge, my husband quietly enjoyed my preparation and my complete re-shuffle of our bedroom. He encouraged me to “dream big” by telling me stories of his experiences in Robert Moss’s workshops, many years ago and yet he was non-committal to the Dream Challenge. As you may guess, while I was waking up with no recollection of even a snippet of a dream, my husband started to have the most detailed recall of his dreams, without even trying.
All I could do was chuckle at this cosmic joke and lovingly relax into listening to his wild dream stories. Each of those mornings we connected on a deeper level, through the storytelling, through listening and interpreting his dream experience as he wove it into his waking life. Shortly after I witnessed his effortless dream recall, I began to relax my expectations and almost immediately started to remember my dreams.
Our morning routine changed. First, upon opening my eyes I would hold on to the thread of recollection, sometimes write down key elements of a dream and express gratitude for the insights. Then while we had our coffee we would recall our dreams to each other. It was our morning “story hour” where we would intently listen, while allowing the other to unpack their subconscious experience. Each morning started with the sense of awe and wonder, childlike curiosity of what the other may have dreamt up, it made for fun and funny mornings. It also brought us closer. We were not reading the news, staring at our phones and ignoring each other. We were fully present with one another, sharing the most intimate parts of ourselves.
This surprising biproduct of the dream challenge, the deeper connection we experienced with each other, on daily and nightly basis, is the impetus for this Parallel Dreaming invitation. Yes, dear reader, I invite you to expand your existing dream practice, or start one for the first time but this time choose a dream partner. It can be your life partner, a friend, a relative, or a person that you wish to get to know better.
Personally, I found this approach to be a simple antidote for what some refer to as the loneliness epidemic of the digital age. Parallel Dreaming offers a new form of emotional intimacy and mutual understanding. It opens room for intentional alignment of dream themes with the dream partner. It makes space for unexpected dream recall discoveries, and it is an invitation to share our subconscious experiences with another person while deepening that relationship.
In the weeks to come we will share tips and tools to help you develop and grow your own Parallel Dreaming practice, and as always we would love to hear about your shared dream experiences, so leave a comment or send a message.
Let your dreams speak, let them guide. Let them open a new way of loving.
From our hearts to yours,
Dream Team